Is Stepparenting new to you?

Do you get on well with the children or do they drive you nuts? Are you wondering where the boundaries are for you and your relationship? Do you discipline or do you leave this to the parent? Do you help financially or not? Who do you talk to about how to be a stepparent and all the expectations that go along with it?

Usually we are completely unprepared for what is ahead, and becoming a stepparent can almost be an overlooked byproduct of pursuing the relationship with our new partner. Suddenly options and opinions that were neither apparent, nor previously considered, become central to intense emotional relationship quarrels, and sometimes it sees a well- positioned brick being laid in the stony wall of silence between us and them. The realisation of the true implications this ʻpackage-dealʼ can turn our feelings of love for the other person into feelings of isolation, betrayal and insecurity as we try to negotiate the complex path that is being a step-parent, before we feel we have become the outsider.

Over 60% of stepparent relationships fail, so already the odds are these complications will not just go away on their own - they will take effort. Those conversations where the biological parent does not understand our feelings and the real difficulties we face are in fact very common, perhaps more common than we probably believe. The lack of gratitude and respect the children and teens show to us can infuriate any well-intended stepparent. So, if you are feeling somewhat perplexed by these difficulties, where do you turn?

You can confidently turn to us - Complex Family Foundation, founded by Jill Darcey, following her own experiences and many years of working with others in similar situations. Jill and the rest of the team, have discovered that there are many different ways of making the Complex Family work, and avoid becoming another sad statistic. We value stepparents - who you are as people, what you bring to the family, add to the childrenʼs lives and the way you help to make our families whole again. We have specialist programmes for Stepparents where you laugh and learn, and if you would like to, share with others in this journey too.

Like some assistance with your next steps?