Complex Family Blog
Father's Day... Why Bother?
When the children's father no longer lives with you it's easy to excuse anything to help you forget the man who they call "Dad". Most divorced parents resent duplicity, and most think that making an effort for Father's Day, to a man they don't really care about too much is doing exactly that. More often than not, it's also a little bit of tit-for-tat because many absent fathers forget Mother's Day earlier in the year. Read More…
What is the Best Co-Parenting Routine or Plan?
This is a million-dollar question for which there is no one answer, but I have seen the best routine is the one that works for the entire family, not just the children - and not just the parents. Some professionals lead us to believe we need to choose if our parenting is child-centric or parent-centric while arriving at the conclusion. I would rather say that to form a great routine it needs to be family-centric, otherwise someone is losing, and it will be the quieter person or the first to buckle under pressure. Read More…
My Ex Calls Our Kids Every Day ... It's So Invasive!
This is one of the most common irritations for both a Leaver and a Leavee - and sometimes also the children. Many parents have ended up fighting with their kids in an effort to make them talk on the phone to their other parent. Completely disinterested, the child reluctantly comes to the phone and leaves the phoning parent feeling a tad disappointed and disconnected. Read More…
How to Get Routines & Parenting Plans Working for You
I've been talking about Routines inside your family for a few weeks now, and I trust you've really started to gain some great insights into what can make routines work well for you. This is about getting the routines to be a structure that works for the good of your family ... not a routine that strangles the life out of you all! If routines become too stuffy, too rigid, too formularised, we lose the better part of what the structure is meant to provide. Read More…
My Teen Wants to Live with the Ex
If you've read or listened to me speaking, you'll know that I'm an advocate for children staying together and moving as a 'unit'. It's more of an All or None approach when deciding on the routine of who goes where when. As life is often not so black 'n white, nor so simplistic in it's approach, I'd like to raise one issue where this rule needs to be considered in shades of grey instead. Read More…
Do My Children Have One Home or Two?
I'd like to firstly take your attention for a few minutes while I answer a really important question that I've been asked ... "Are my children meant to have one or two homes now we're divorced?" It's strange that this is one of the most confusing for parents to come to terms with - and yet it's not. Read More…
My House is Quiet … Too Quiet!
Do you dream of the moment when you can have a bath undisturbed, or go out somewhere (anywhere, you're not fussy!) without taking an hour to get everyone into the car? That time has come ... you've got a weekend to yourself and ... instead, you can't decide what to do! Read More…
What To Do with Lateness or No-Shows with Your Ex
Albert Einstein when asked of "Relativity" answered with this. "Relativity: An hour sitting with a pretty girl on a park bench passes like a minute, but a minute sitting on a hot stove seems like an hour." So what does this have to do with your Ex showing up late? Don't we all know how long 10 minutes can be when you're the one who's doing the waiting … and also how quickly it flies by when you're running late! Read More…
Children Adjusting When They’re Home From The Ex’s Place
Do you find it takes time for your children to settle in when they come back from your Ex's place? If you're like me, sometimes I wonder what goes on there that means they have to change so much. I mean, they've only been away a weekend and yet it feels like I get completely different children back. I've then got to start again on the 'house rules' and try and get them to settle again. Read More…
Handle Your Handovers - Drop Offs & Pick Ups
If you dread handovers - you're not alone. If you are frustrated because you've managed to get your kids to tidy up the house before the Ex comes to collect them, and before you know it, they're sick of waiting so it's once again transformed into the bomb-site it was only half an hour ago ... you're reading the right stuff then. Read More…
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