Complex Family Blog
How to Avoid a Birthday Disaster for Your Child
Have you had those moments when you find yourself waking up while you gently hold a particular specialness because it's your little sweetheart's birthday today? If you have, you may also have felt the moment you realise your little sweetheart's bedroom is empty - and it's not because they're old enough to be out with friends. The reason their bedroom is empty is because you're a divorced parent and your beloved child is with your Ex. Read More…
The Best Way for Divorced Parents to Get Active
It's easy to believe reading an article on "Getting Active" you'll find new tips about fitness, diets, summer trimmings and all manner of hard-to-keep promises. If you too are over them then continue reading because I'm not talking about getting active in a fitness freak sense, I'm talking about avoiding one of the biggest traps divorced parents face when raising their children. Read More…
Managing Money Matters
If you're a parent, you will know how quickly money rushes out the door. It doesn't seem to matter how careful you are with watching the budget – children always seem to cost a little more than planned. Children cost a lot more than just money too and yet this is the one topic we argue about (or feel resentment over) more than most. Read More…
Father's Day... Why Bother?
When the children's father no longer lives with you it's easy to excuse anything to help you forget the man who they call "Dad". Most divorced parents resent duplicity, and most think that making an effort for Father's Day, to a man they don't really care about too much is doing exactly that. More often than not, it's also a little bit of tit-for-tat because many absent fathers forget Mother's Day earlier in the year. Read More…
How do I talk with my children about sexuality?
For many of our generation, at best, we were handed a book and left to sort the rest out for ourselves. We gleaned information from our friends or snippets from movies and magazines to fill in the gaps, and we hoped the rest would all follow quite naturally. Obviously, as you are a parent, you have at least experienced sexual intimacy - however it may or may not automatically follow that you are comfortable to talk about it. Read More…
My Ex bought our children mobile phones even when I said 'No!'
This highlights the challenge when parenting with an Ex. The children will be delighted with their new toys, and for you to pour cold water on their enthusiasm is rather pitiful. You can share in their excitement and allow them to eagerly amuse themselves (as you might like to indulge yourself with such luxuries). Once you've passed through the initial glowing phase of newness, you can start to establish the boundaries (not blanket rules) for conduct in your home, and while out and about with you. Read More…
My children fall short of the Ex's high expectations; now what?
Holding expectations regarding your children is natural, yet they are often a source of great debate between those who have opinions about the raising of children. Expectations are not really the issue though; it is the attachment we hold to these expectations that is the issue. Read More…
Should I Let My Child's Teacher Know We're Divorced?
For the good of your children, it's best their teachers know your family situation. It's not for compensation to be granted, but rather to ease communication. Your children are not unique because they come from a Complex Family; many schools are well-equipped to handle the complexities that arise - but they do need to know first. Read More…
How do I stop the gossip about me and my Ex?!
Part of what we go through when a relationship ends is acknowledging that it is not only about us and our children; it affects our family and friends as well. The demise of your relationship provides an opportunity for others to express their judgements about what could have, should have, or ought to have been. It is normal for your mixed emotions to be highlighted by the conversations or actions of others, especially when it comes from within your trusted and respected friendships. Read More…
What is the Best Co-Parenting Routine or Plan?
This is a million-dollar question for which there is no one answer, but I have seen the best routine is the one that works for the entire family, not just the children - and not just the parents. Some professionals lead us to believe we need to choose if our parenting is child-centric or parent-centric while arriving at the conclusion. I would rather say that to form a great routine it needs to be family-centric, otherwise someone is losing, and it will be the quieter person or the first to buckle under pressure. Read More…
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